Those going through cancer and supporting a spouse through cancer cannot do it alone. It is hard to ask for help, but I love and appreciate all of those who have been there for us here I gave ideas for food, packages, letters, and notes, below are a few more ideas of ways to support those going through any sort of trial. These things have been a support to me, Travis, and the kids! Continue reading “What can we do? How can we help? Part 2”
Many have asked so many times “What can we do?” “How can we help?” “What do you need?” or”Please give me the opportunity to serve?” These requests are all from people able and willing to help and yet at a time when I feel my world is falling apart, I can’t think of a single thing for them to do. Continue reading “What can we do? How can we help? Part 1”
Endure to the End
Understanding this phrase has been a journey for me. March of 2010 enduring to the end meant patiently waiting for cancer to be over and for us to return to, what I believed to be our normal lives. It meant me turning down an invite because Travis was not able to go out, and so I waited for him to re-join our lives. It meant I became stagnant in life for a little bit, not progressing, I was just waiting. I felt like I was enduring by doing nothing special and waiting until the end of the trial. Continue reading “10 Ways for a Spouse to Survive Cancer #10”
Be Prepared for Complications
This one is hard to write because I’ve struggled a lot with this. Preparing for the worst always seemed to be eliminating hope for something better. At the same time, being in denial of all the possible complications or even an ultimate sad ending is prohibiting myself from mourning with Travis and softening the blow before we are forced to face it. Continue reading “10 Ways for a Spouse to Survive Cancer #9”
Share information carefully
The moment was surreal as we asked so many questions regarding Travis’ cancer, I struggled to keep it factual and not let my emotions into that appointment. We knew that Travis had cancer again, and I went in prepared to hear that information, but nothing can prepare you for the moment they tell you it’s terminal, it could be months or years, but he won’t be cured. I remember trying to keep it together as the tears pushed against my will to stay strong, and evidently, they won, streaming down my face. So, if me, prepared for such a prognosis, could struggle so much, then how can I expect others to handle the news, how can I soften the blow for others to help them process the information? Continue reading “10 Ways for a Spouse to Survive Cancer #8”
“Saying no can be hard, but fight for the best things in life!”
After the kids get rid of the person at the door I curl up on the couch, realizing it’s already noon on Saturday and nothing is perfect.
Accept less than perfect
There is a knock at the door, and while the kids go through the obstacle course of toys and blankets to reach the front door I quickly hide because I haven’t even run a brush through my hair today. The kids haven’t bathed for a day or two…I think they’ve brushed their hair…wait didn’t they wear that on Wednesday…it’s Saturday, please tell me they have changed their clothes! After the kids get rid of the person at the door I curl up on the couch, realizing it’s already noon on Saturday and nothing is perfect. Continue reading “10 Ways for a Spouse to Survive Cancer #6”
My husband has cancer and I don’t know what that is going to mean, but this is how I’m going to survive right now!
Things have been pretty crazy around my house and so this is a quick break in the middle of my “10 Ways for a Spouse to Survive Cancer” series. The following post I originally wrote for Misses Miscellany here, and with permission, I thought I’d share a sort of “Throwback Thursday” post! 🙂
My husband’s cancer journey started March of 2010, we had 5 month old, 2 year old and 4 year old. Now, 6 years later…our 6 year old, 8 year old and 10 year old barely know life without cancer or life without a sick Daddy. Continue reading “My Husband has Cancer. Now What?”
2 Nephi 2:25: “Adam Fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.”
My little brother had a sticky note on his wall that said: “Fake it until you make it.” I have remembered that phrase constantly throughout Travis’ diagnosis. I don’t always smile, but I try really hard to. Sometimes I want to curl up in a ball and give up, but I can’t, so I fake the happiness, and some days pushing that smile forces me to really be okay. Telling people I’m alright, makes me feel like maybe I am alright. Making someone else happy brightens my day exponentially. Cancer sucks but being a sucky person doesn’t fix it! Being a positive and happy person doesn’t fix it either, but it’s a lot more enjoyable!
This is my life and I have to learn how to live this life! My Heavenly Father has a plan for me. This is my normal!
Accept your new normal
Easier said than done!! When our oldest had a G-tube (feeding tube inserted into his stomach) we talked about the day we would be normal.
Three years later I said that things were really good and things almost felt normal. The next month Travis got sick and two months later they found his cancer, so we looked forward to the day we would be normal.
Keep reading 10 Ways for a Spouse to Survive Cancer #4