Anyone who goes through any sort of trial understands the physical and emotional exhaustion that inevitably comes, and every year it gets harder because we aren’t starting out at 100%, and no matter what happens we just don’t have time to fully refuel. We live cancer every day. Honestly, I don’t know how I could get along without our helpers, every single week we receive support. I came up with the following list of ways to support those going through cancer, or any sort of difficult trial. This is just a summary list if you want to read more details, click on the links!Continue reading “What can we do? How can we help? Summary”
Share information carefully
The moment was surreal as we asked so many questions regarding Travis’ cancer, I struggled to keep it factual and not let my emotions into that appointment. We knew that Travis had cancer again, and I went in prepared to hear that information, but nothing can prepare you for the moment they tell you it’s terminal, it could be months or years, but he won’t be cured. I remember trying to keep it together as the tears pushed against my will to stay strong, and evidently, they won, streaming down my face. So, if me, prepared for such a prognosis, could struggle so much, then how can I expect others to handle the news, how can I soften the blow for others to help them process the information? Continue reading “10 Ways for a Spouse to Survive Cancer #8”
Let the kids be kids!
We have 3 amazing kids. They are the light of our lives and bring so much joy into our home! As a kid my Grandpa had cancer, but it didn’t consume our lives. It was scary, but not always part of our lives. It’s different for kids who have a parent with cancer, they cannot avoid it and they are aware their lives are different than others. My Mom picked up our oldest from school early on a day our daughter broke her arm. The second he saw my Mom he started crying because he assumed something was wrong with his Dad. This story broke my heart to think of the fear that he must live in. They know Travis sleeps a lot when he has chemo, they know they get babysat a lot because Travis can’t take care of them, they know he is grumpy sometimes because of the medicine, and they know he could die. That’s an awful lot for a kid to have to deal with.
There is so much pressure to write a legendary first post, which I could never do! I was inspired by my very talented mother to start something of my own. She has the ability to take anything and make it into an eloquent story. Her blog, A Southern Sleuth , takes stories of our ancestors and gives them new life, she’s incredible! I started by writing a post for Misses Miscellany titled My husband has cancer. I couldn’t think of anything worth writing to contribute to their site until Travis was diagnosed with cancer a third time, and as my life seemed to be surreal and spinning, I sat down and wrote down my thoughts. It came easy and I sent it off quickly not knowing if they would use it. It was amazingly therapeutic to write, it helped me organize my thoughts and feelings, and I really enjoyed writing it. They posted it and to my surprise it seemed to resonate with a lot of people. It took me months before I submitted another post, in part because I put a lot of pressure on myself to write something grandiose, which I never accomplished, but after Travis gave me a subject and my Mom helped me be less intimidated, I finally wrote something I felt good enough to share (Guiding Our Children Through Trials). In the months in-between posts I wrote 9 other beginnings to posts, and since it is very therapeutic to write them down I decided I will finish them and share here!
So, here I start a site for myself. I hope something I say at sometime may reach someone who needs to feel less alone in supporting a spouse while they fight or inspire someone in their own fight, but really I write this for me and my family as we fight cancer and the world one day at a time!
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