My little brother had a sticky note on his wall that said: “Fake it until you make it.” I have remembered that phrase constantly throughout Travis’ diagnosis. I don’t always smile, but I try really hard to. Sometimes I want to curl up in a ball and give up, but I can’t, so I fake the happiness, and some days pushing that smile forces me to really be okay. Telling people I’m alright, makes me feel like maybe I am alright. Making someone else happy brightens my day exponentially. Cancer sucks but being a sucky person doesn’t fix it! Being a positive and happy person doesn’t fix it either, but it’s a lot more enjoyable!
A scripture I have quoted many times throughout the last 6 years my Mom had us memorize as kids, It’s 2 Nephi 2:25: “Adam Fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.” There was a period of time that was very difficult, a time I struggled to find hope for us, to be happy, and struggled to see the good. I felt perplexed wondering why life was so miserable if we were supposed to have joy. I pondered this scripture, counseled with Travis, and prayed fervently, and then I found my joy again. I found that through faith in God and through truly searching for happiness, we can always find it.
I have always loved Disney’s Pollyanna, and have often played the “glad game” she plays in the movie. Pollyanna’s father taught her that there is always something to be glad about. Throughout the movie, she transforms the household she lives in and brings so much happiness throughout her struggles with her positive outlook on life. One of my favorite parts is when Pollyanna is trying to think of something to be glad about for Sunday and finally says “it will be six whole days before Sunday comes around again.” Somedays there isn’t a whole lot to be glad about, but we can always find something.
Being happy is one of the few things we can control, we can’t control the situation, but we can control how we choose to respond. “Men are that they might have joy.” God intended us to have joy and to be happy, joy is there we just have to look for it and sometimes it is much harder to find, but I know we have a Heavenly Father who loves us and wants us to be happy and will help us to see the joy and see our blessings when we struggle to find them on our own! Being positive, especially when it is hardest, is how I survive cancer!
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