10 Ways for a Spouse to Survive Cancer #2

“Instead of figuring out what you need help with, tell me what you are willing to give away to someone else.”

You Need Help!

Caring for a sick spouse is so much work, it doesn’t just mean you take over their responsibilities, but there is also a great deal of work to care for their needs emotionally and physically. You may be a superhuman and able to do it all, but we don’t need to be and shouldn’t be alone in the fight. You need help!! In the beginning of Travis’ fight, I relied too heavily on my parents to help us. They were willing and my kids benefited greatly from the security and consistency from them, however, my parents are fighting this battle with me too so throwing it all on them is too much. It took me years to accept more help from others, yet even now it is not easy for me to relinquish my responsibilities.

Often I think of the phrase “it takes a village” because I feel at certain points it has taken so many people helping me to keep it all together. My family has stayed my consistent rock, but we’ve had wonderful people that have stepped up at different times to do different things.

Shortly after Travis was given a terminal  diagnosis a lot of people reached out wanting to help, and I remember thinking that I needed to figure out how to do all of this alone because alone could IMAG0114be my reality very soon. I also felt very overwhelmed and couldn’t figure out what I needed help with until someone told me: “Instead of figuring out what you need help with, tell me what you are willing to give away to someone else.” This helped me think through things a little differently. Instead of feeling like I couldn’t handle life, I was thinking of things I was willing to let go of, for just a little bit. We had people bring us dinner a couple times a week for a while and even though I was handling dinner before, letting go of this responsibility allowed me to get on top of different things, cope with everything that was going on, and be available to support Travis and my children through all of this.

It really can be hard to let others in, and I sure hate to ask for help. My family has always been close to the situation and quick to offer and support us, and so they have always been the easy ones to ask, however allowing more to help makes the burden lighter for all that are supporting and also helps us feel so loved by many! We are strengthened by the generosity and support of so many others.

If your spouse has cancer, you need help! And the help that others provide frees up more time to be available to support my spouse and helps us to survive cancer.

10 Ways for a Spouse to Survive Cancer #1 – Be Patient

Copyright © Stacy Fredericks 2016, All rights reserved

3 thoughts on “10 Ways for a Spouse to Survive Cancer #2

  1. We all seem to struggle with letting go and letting others help and I’m not exactly sure why. But we love who we serve and allowing others to serve builds strong relationships—even though I know that in my head, I still struggle with it too. Beautiful post.

    Liked by 1 person

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