10 Ways for a Spouse to Survive Cancer #3

Let the kids be kids!

We have 3 amazing kids. They are the light of our lives and bring so much joy into our home! As a kid my Grandpa had cancer, but it didn’t consume our lives. It was scary, but not always part of our lives. It’s different for kids who have a parent with cancer, they cannot avoid it and they are aware their lives are different20140730_182011 than others. My Mom picked up our oldest from school early on a day our daughter broke her arm. The second he saw my Mom he started crying because he assumed something was wrong with his Dad. This story broke my heart to think of the fear that he must live in. They know Travis sleeps a lot when he has chemo, they know they get babysat a lot because Travis can’t take care of them, they know he is grumpy sometimes because of the medicine, and they know he could die. That’s an awful lot for a kid to have to deal with.

Keep reading 10 Ways for a Spouse to Survive Cancer #3

10 Ways for a Spouse to Survive Cancer #2

“Instead of figuring out what you need help with, tell me what you are willing to give away to someone else.”

You Need Help!

Caring for a sick spouse is so much work, it doesn’t just mean you take over their responsibilities, but there is also a great deal of work to care for their needs emotionally and physically. You may be a superhuman and able to do it all, but we don’t need to be and shouldn’t be alone in the fight. You need help!! In the beginning of Travis’ fight, I relied too heavily on my parents to help us. They were willing and my kids benefited greatly from the security and consistency from them, however, my parents are fighting this battle with me too so throwing it all on them is too much. It took me years to accept more help from others, yet even now it is not easy for me to relinquish my responsibilities.

Keep reading 10 Ways for a Spouse to Survive Cancer #2

10 ways for a Spouse to Survive Cancer #1

“Be patient in afflictions, for thou shalt have many; but endure them, for, lo, I am with thee, even unto the end of thy days.”

While my husband was in remission, I wrote down 10 ways for a spouse to Survive Cancer. It ended up being pretty long and I couldn’t focus much on any one point. So I am breaking it up over 10 posts, and maybe in the process it’ll turn into 20 or more ways because as my husband fights for his life again, I’m always learning new things and trying to figure this out!

Be Patient

Be Patient with your Spouse. Sometimes your spouse will be mad, but that’s okay occasionally, they have cancer! Even after 6 years it’s kind of unbelievable to think he really does have cancer. I can only begin to imagine the anguish, fear, and pain associated with being the person with cancer. Sometimes your spouse may need an outlet and sometimes you may be the only one there! It is important to acknowledge their pain and let them vent but also have boundaries. Try not to fight! A few times I have gotten upset and I regret it so quickly. The next time he was puking over the toilet I thought of the things I had said when I was mad, and there was so much guilt. Be so patient with them, they are fighting an incredibly awful disease and need patience!

Keep reading 10 Ways for a Spouse to Survive Cancer #1