Life isn’t fair!!

Life isn’t fair! How I wish I would’ve understood this concept when I was  younger! I can remember arguing with my parents many times about it not being fair, and them patiently teaching me, and I still remember thinking that it wasn’t fair because they just didn’t understand. See, I knew how to make life fair, I just needed everyone else to get on board. I was a kid, but I knew it all, or so I thought!

Now I have a passionate 10-year-old who thinks life isn’t fair, which is a fair AandTcomplaint since it’s not fair! And just like I once thought, he believes it’s possible!

During one of our spirited debates my son broke down in tears telling me I just didn’t understand, I just needed to listen. How I wished I could have just transferred my understanding to his head at that moment. I wish he wouldn’t have to go through life worrying about whether or not life is fair! I’ve tried to teach him, just like my parents did with me, but he’s not ready to understand, like I wasn’t when I was younger.

I remember thinking that I needed to try to make things fair, and I remember all the stress and anxiety I caused myself because things weren’t fair. Even since I’ve been married I still struggled greatly with things needing to be fair. We had some people be pretty awful to Travis and I early on in our marriage, and it took me years to be able to forgive them, because I felt they didn’t deserve to be forgiven because they hadn’t apologized, and so it wasn’t fair. Now, I didn’t go around being an equalizer, most of this has been an internal battle. Something that could have made me very bitter and at times it did. But, I overcame this battle, and I won! Now, I still struggle from time to time and wish those who were awful were punished right now and that my life was much different, but I now know and understand this life is not fair, well it is fairer then I thought as a child, but it isn’t fair!

Travis has Cancer, it’s not fair. I am not able to be a stay-at-home Mom, it’s not fair. My children have severe food allergies, it’s not fair. I thought I’d own a home at this point in my life, but instead, spend my money on medical bills, it’s not fair. Life really isn’t fair.

Sometimes it is how you look at it though. My kids have been through such intense trials that they have been bonded together and our family is a solid team. I was blessed with talents to allow me to provide for our family, while Travis proves to us how strong he is. Cancer has pushed us closer to our Heavenly Father and Savior and strengthened our testimony in a way that I don’t know how else it’s possible. We have learned how truly great people are through their love, sacrifice, and service for our family. Wow, maybe life is fair!

D&C section 98 says that all things you have suffered are for your good. It discusses how the Lord is watching and he will chasten those that are doing wrong. If you are patient with those that smite you and do not seek revenge then you will be rewarded. However, if you don’t bear it patiently, then what was done is just. If your enemies smite you continuously and you continue to be patient, your blessing and rewards are increased immensely. The way I understand this, is that bad things happen for good reasons! That sounds pretty fair!

In Romans 12:19 and Mormon 3:15 it says that Vengeance is the Lords, which means it’s not my place to fix the things that seem unjust!

Matthew 3:39 and 44 tell us to turn our cheek and pray for our enemies, another place it’s not my job to make things fair!

Corinthians 4:12 ; We learn to judge nothing until the Lord comes, he is the only person that can judge. We are to follow Christ. If we do not have the responsibility to judge, then I guess that makes it harder to tell if things are fair. I think we got the easy job, we follow Christ and let the Lord make all things right!

Was Christ’s life fair? Here we had a perfect person, the only one that there ever was and ever will be, and yet He suffered for all of our sins, and because of this great sacrifice we are able to return to our Heavenly Father. We are able to sin and repent and still obtain the highest degree of glory! Life isn’t fair because we do not have to suffer for eternity for our mistakes. Life isn’t fair because it’s hard, and then God will bless us for being patient! Wow, that’s incredible! I guess to the extent life isn’t fair, it’s because we are so incredibly blessed, more than I probably deserve!

Life may or may not be fair in this earth life, but I know that God will make all things fair in this life or the next. What a relief, I don’t have to worry about whether or not life is fair! Until my sweet son can understand this, I’ll continue to debate daily with him over whether or not life is fair, and to my parents who painstakingly and yet so patiently waited for me to understand, I guess they can sit back and watch and say Life is Fair!

Copyright © Stacy Fredericks 2016, All rights reserved

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