What’s holding you down?

Last night I had a dream. I was in a crowded swimming pool. Everyone was going back and forth as fast as we could, like our life depended on it. I was struggling to stay afloat and was working so hard while not moving very fast. My parents appeared by my side and started trying to help keep me afloat, they even helped by moving the water with me so that I could move faster. I decided to just focus on moving my legs, they felt so heavy and so I wondered if I stopped using my arms and focused more attention to my legs if I could swim faster, it didn’t seem to help but I did it anyway. I was getting more and more tired until the lifeguard abruptly kicked us all out of the pool. As I got out of the pool I realized I was wearing shorts, pants, and socks still. In my rush to get into the pool, I hadn’t finished preparing myself to swim. During the very long forced pool break I took off my layers and my parents and I discussed using my arms to support me, that by using both my arms and legs I’ll move easier and not tire as quickly. After we were allowed back into the pool I gracefully moved across the water with ease, using my new knowledge and being free from my extra clothes.

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Some Days your world falls apart…

Saturday morning I shot up out of my bed, my mouth completely dry, my chest felt tight, and I couldn’t get a deep breath. Immediately I grabbed my phone…7 am an entire 2 hours since I last woke up and I hadn’t missed a call or text, that must be a good sign. I knew I was Travis’ emergency contact, so if he went into surgery I’m sure someone would call, right? For sure if he didn’t make it through the night they would’ve called. I drank some water from my water bottle on the nightstand and focused on breathing. I kept telling myself “He made it through the night.” Not much later I shakily made the call “please pick-up” I kept repeating. Continue reading “Some Days your world falls apart…”

What can we do? How can we help? Summary

Anyone who goes through any sort of trial understands the physical and emotional exhaustion that inevitably comes, and every year it gets harder because we aren’t starting out at 100%, and no matter what happens we just don’t have time to fully refuel. We live cancer every day. Honestly, I don’t know how I could get along without our helpers, every single week we receive support. I came up with the following list of ways to support those going through cancer, or any sort of difficult trial. This is just a summary list if you want to read more details, click on the links! 

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